Why can’t we just get a long? I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with various friends or women I’ve met over the years where this topic of women and bad relationships come up. I often wonder why it that some women can be so mean towards one another. Is it a part of the curse or what? Women are more powerful as allies than enemies!
I believe that sometimes it may be a force from the enemy that tries to destroy meaningful relationships; however, there are times that I believe it’s through our own stubbornness and hardness of heart towards one another. We hold grudges or unforgiveness which prevents us from experience a real true friendship.
Have you had a relationship with someone where every time you get around this person, it just seemed inevitable that strife will get stirred up? I know I have. I had what you would call sister sand paper. Someone who’s always saying or doing something that just rubs you the wrong way. And after a while, it’s draining. Who wants to be around someone that likes to stir up trouble? Not me!
Friendship defined in the Websters 1828: “One who has sufficient interest to serve another; genuine, pure, real, not counterfeit…” True friendship is a noble and virtuous attachment, spring from a pure source, a respect for worth or amicable qualities.
There certain friendships that we have that are genuine; a type of friendship that is secure, warm, comfortable, encouraging. You always feel good when you leave their presence because they build you up. They inspire you to reach your dreams and don’t criticize your shortcomings and mistakes, but rather coach you to keep on going. These are the friendships that are far and few. If you have one, be grateful and nurture that relationship. Unfortunately, according to recent a recent study, Americans have 1/3 less friends than they did twenty years ago. (Glamour Mag. April 2008)
Real friendships are a gift that cannot be manufactured. Why is it that sometimes women get frustrate when it comes to friendship? Sometimes we desire a relationship so much that we try to force it when really, unless the Lord builds it, it’s built in vain.
Some of these reasons may prevent us from having healthy friendships. Sometimes we may need to do a self-evaluation to see if perhaps any of these reasons are why we aren’t experiencing real friendships with other women in our life. We need to be honest with ourselves…are we the reason?
I’ve had to ask myself these questions and if I’ve noticed any of these characteristics in my heart, then, it’s my responsibility to make it right. Often times, we know we have these issues in our heart, but instead of dealing with them, we just ignore them; which affects our friendships. We cannot fake a friendship if any of these things exist in our hearts it would be difficult to have a real genuine friendship
- Envy- look with enmity; to feel uneasiness at the other person’s superior excellence or to repine at another’s prosperity (Webster’s 1828)
- Jealousy-an uneasiness that arises from fear that another will come to enjoy some advantages which we desire for ourselves (Webster’s 1828)
- Competition-The act of seeking, or endeavoring to gain, what another is endeavoring to gain, at the same time; rivalry; mutual strife for the same object; also, strife for superiority (Webster 1828)
- Lack of effort- sometimes we just don’t put any effort into the friendship (perhaps we’ve tried, but the other person lacks reciprocating)
Real friendships are relationships that are deep, rich, and meaningful and without going through a process of reciprocation, it’s really just symbol of friendship with-out substance.
Let’s end the month of June in celebration of National Best Friends Day earlier and commit making sure to nurture our relationships with our girlfriends. They are truly a gift God. Women are more powerful as allies than enemies!
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