“Life is a quest and love a quarrel” ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay
How true this can be! With Valentine’s Day coming up in just a few days…we are bombarded with promotional ads for flowers, chocolates and all sorts of gifts to buy for that special one! February is certainly known as the LOVE month. While it may be about cupids, hearts, and romance…the reality is like many holidays…they come and go.
I was referred to many books on marriage and love after I was already married. We didn’t go to premarital counseling like many couples do today. As a matter of fact many churches recommend taking a pre-marital course for several weeks before getting married.
The books that I’ve read on “Love” have been very resourceful, inspiring, and encouraging; however, there were times when I really didn’t like what I was reading. I didn’t like it because it was dealing with me personally and challenging me to walk in love when I didn’t “feel” like it!
This topic on LOVE doesn’t apply to just our significant other but also in all relationships. Let’s just say…I’ve grown and have come a long way and the temptation to not walk in love towards certain people will occasionally come up.
Hello…we are human, I think we all face this several times a week or even in a day. I’m sharing this with you in hopes that it may help you with your own situation.
Image by Agnes Klimek
Love is a battlefield that can be visualized as fighting, war, or conflict; it’s a danger zone that is sometimes difficult to avoid. Often times, a relationship turns from a comfort zone to a war zone where conflict and fighting seem to persist, and a ceasefire is nowhere in sight. In a war when a ceasefire is called, opponents will either prepare to negotiate or enter a truce.
Perhaps you are in a relationship where a ceasefire needs to be called. This could be a relationship that you have with a spouse, a significant other, a relative, or perhaps a friend. You may just be in a war zone and not a love zone.
Although love is a short sweet four letter word, it comes with great perplexity. Love can bring one into a state of euphoria or inexpressible emotion but, for many it can bring confusion.
Love is a fundamental part of our lives and relationships. It is believed that a vital human need is to be loved. A true revelation of what “love” really means will cause us to avoid the battlefield.
I’ve learned over the years through various situations that love is not a feeling as once believed. And I didn’t like to hear that love is a choice, a decision, and is unconditionally given regardless of how we feel. Tough? Absolutely!
We are not always going to feel like walking in love towards certain people in our life; whether it is our spouse, a child, certain relatives, or others we may be in a relationship with. They may do or say something that has really hurt us, and we might find it hard to feel love towards them. Been there many times…haven’t you?
We all have unique situations and there is no guilt or judgment if you were in a relationship that did not work out. I believe unless we are living in that situation, we have no right to judge other people’s relationships. However, I do appreciate the many resources that are available for those struggling in these areas who want and need help. I’m always looking to improve my relationships.
Love doesn’t have to be a battlefield. For some couples, it is much easier to end the relationship than to work through the fires. For some friendships, it is simpler to avoid one another and let a cold war begin than to work out the differences.
This is most popular amongst couples. Dr. Laura Berman, PhD, says that couples must “fight to love, not to win and that their relationship is not a battleground but a safe haven.”
“Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.” ~ Barbara De Angelis
Related posts:
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Hey a great post i have come a crossed and is very loving. Keep flying in the skies… Have a great readership….