If you have children, you are well aware that they are growing up in the Digital Age. To think that television was has only been around for seventy years is pretty amazing how far that industry alone has transformed.
Thirty years ago, having a computer in every home was a dream of Bill Gates and today, it’s pretty much a dream turned into reality for the Microsoft Founder.
Ten years ago I don’t think I even owned a cell phone and today I don’t know very many teenagers who doesn’t own their own cell phone.
While the Digital Age is revolutionizing our lives, with it also comes greater exposure to our privacy, safety and our childrens’.
We’ve been hearing so much in the media the past couple of years about kids on social networks and being cyber-bullied, especially the tragic case of one that resulted in suicide, predators preying on young kids, and most recently sexting (inappropriate photos sent via text), has made headlines.
As a parent of three teens, what is my response to all this? Do I prevent them from participating in this part of technology? No, I am not preventing my teens from Social Networks like Facebook; I’ve certainly had my reservations. I think a lot of parents have. I’ve decided to embrace this era. Not only because it’s affecting the way we influence, communicate, do business, and connect but also because our kids are growing up in it.
Like money is a powerful tool used everyday for good or evil; technology is also a powerful tool that can be used in the same manner. Not only do we need to teach our kids how to protect themselves from being exposed to online predators, but we also need to make them aware of the possibilities of some colleges and employers now looking into their social media interactions in order to learn more about them.
It’s not hard have your name show up on Google and linked to a social network sight. It’s so important to talk to our kids about what they post whether it’s an update or photos, both needs to be done with caution.
Whatever our views are with Social Media and Social Networks, we can’t deny that our kids are growing up in the Digital Age, and it’s up to us to get involved and help them safely and responsibly navigate through this territory of technology. I’ve recently sat with each of my teens and went through their privacy settings and helped them update their profiles to be “safer.”
How do you deal with your kids growing up in the digital age? What advice or suggestions would you offer parents?
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Hi Duong
You are a wonderful writer.
you are amazing!
I have a hard time seeing you as a mom with 2 teens
My son is only 16 months, when he is a teen…who knows how much faster the digital world can be like!?
Thanks for sharing.
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
Boy how I wish I could write like you…thanks for getting the information out to so many people…you love your site and thanks again…great job…so proud of you…Beth
While everyone has an opinion, as do I, I do not think there is one foolproof answer. My answer for this and all issues in parenting is to love your children first, while teaching them strong christian values. The more involved and interested you are in your children’s life you are, the better your chances are. You accompany that with simply limiting their usage of the internet and computer. All of these things molded together increase your odds for success. No guarantees, but this is my approach.
As a father of an 18 year old and 17 year old, I decided long ago that exposure to all things digital was inevitable and that it was best to not bury my head in the sand but embrace these technologies. I feel kids are going to get exposed to this stuff eventually so having access to it in the house allows me to intervene and parent when appropriate…But, I also believe that my kids economic future depends on having a high tech IQ, regardless of what job they choose…so yes, my kids or on facebook and on the internet alot and thus far, its worked out well. Fingers crossed!
Chris, Thanks for your input as a father. You noted some very important things to consider: “my kids economic future depends on having a high tech IQ, regardless of what job they choose…”
Duong, Great post! While all my kids are WAY past the teen years, I do have a very precocious 7yo granddaughter who knows her way around the internet and googles for things she wants to know about. I have two tiny grandkids about to be added to the family, so this will be something for us all to watch. Blessings…Lynn
Being a multi-media artist, I understand far too well the power of the arts and the power of technology. Our world is growing ever so smaller with the use of the internet.
Great post!
Keep it up.
~R
As with all things and children, moderation and parental control/supervision. I want my daughter to succeed so she was introduced to use of the computer before she could read. Of course, she didn’t go online. Now at the age of 10, she can go online, but with my supervision. Her computer time and video game time is moderated so that she has a well-balanced life. We have taught her about not giving any information about herself over the internet too.
Awesome post! For a short period, I taught Sunday School and my students had no idea how to communicate with the texting acronyms, etc. I would literally get assignments with “C U L8r” or “@” or “b/c” instead of full words.
A couple things I do with my kids:
I refuse to get a car DVD player. They’ll ask for it even when we’re just going to the grocery and they don’t need to plugged in.
I’m turning off the TV more (and my laptop for that matter) for quality outside playing time.
I take my kids to the library so they can get books and learn to love them as much as I do.
Keep up the great work!
Hey Duong!
Another strong post, you are killin’ it girl!
Ah the age old adage, how to handle the current climate that is life. We are indeed in the digital world it is our very existance. Long gone are the days of the pay phone and waiting on Federal Express. We scan and attach a doc to an email rather than “waiting” for a fax. Everything is immediate gratification, instant results and overexposure.
So how do we manage our children so that they are equipped for a world they need to function and excel in while we instill caution and good judgement. Know the product! Participate in what’s going on, see how it works, and lay down the rules hard and fast.
As a person who fell victim to a stalker by no fault of my own and completely unaware. I am ACUTELY cautious of the information I provide online, about me, my family and most specifically my precious children. We all love to brag about our children/families and show em off. However, the fact of the matter is, quicker than tracking a fedex package, someone can track you.
We need AP classes on stranger danger, it cud be anyone, “virtually” anywhere.
Children need balance and information as well as protection. I don’t know what the secret sauce is but if I’m hated for being all up in someone’s kool-aid so be it!
Hey Duong,
Firstly, congratulations for yet another great write-up!
Secondly, I must say I feel kinda out-of-place in your blog because so far it looks like I’m the only man commenting on it! ;p
I do have a 15-year son. And believe it or not, he doesn’t own a phone. My mentor said he’s probably the very last few 15-year boy in the world who doesn’t have a phone! Just like you, I didn’t own a phone ten years ago. But luxury once enjoyed becomes a necessity. Now without my phone, I feel so handicapped. And the funny thing is that my phone hardly rings!
As much as I like to limit my son to the contents he sees in the Net, I know it’s quite an uphill task. Human beings are curious; especially kids of his age. The more we restrict them, the more they want to find out why, albeit privately. When we see a door left ajar and above it says a sign “Do Not Enter”, what would most us do? Enter!
My wife and I know that even if we limit his exposure, if he wants to, he can do it behind our backs very easily. Therefore, instead of limiting him, we always instil in him true Biblical values and keep reminding him that he’s well loved by us and God. Personally, I believe that banning our children from this and that is like patching old cloth on a new garment because the exposure they get from friends, school and the media is really beyond our control. It’s better to teach them to be God fearing and instil the right values.
I always stand on this verse, “All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.” Isa 54:13 NKJV and guess what, He’s is always faithful with His word!
Shalom,
Melvin Neo
(I ended up finding the song and blipping it on my Twitter stream…lol)
My son uses the computer at school for Advanced Reading classes and at home for his Webkinz. I am concerned because I have been hacked and flamed and wanked on before. I have even been cyber stalked. It is not fun, and can be scary if you do not know what to do. Some internet companies, despite the fact that most carry a no tolerance- type policy to this behavior, there are always people who slip in the cracks and suffer.
As for employers… yes, they are looking to the Internet. However, it is up to you to remind your employer on the new rights that you have. As long as you do not say anything defamatory in regards to the company or anything libelous about your co-workers, you are within your rights. It may create havoc with your co-workers, so always keep that in mind if you do post anything.
Great article! Times have certainly changed since I was a wee girl. My girls always want on the internet and I limit it to a degree. They are only 12 and 8 and do not belong to social networking sites, nor do I want them to. From friends, I have learned that they have controlled access to their children’s accounts and monitor it very closely. Maybe I will do the same. In the meantime, I try to educate them about talking to strangers and what is best to practice both on and off the internet.
Well written, you have made my eyes open up a bit. I have always said my children will NOT have a myspace or facebook page, but you are correct they are living in a digital world….I have had my eyes opened a bit and will be a bit more opened minded about the discussions of cell phones and social media networking.
The key is to have open communication with your children and family – this will create a win win situation. Your child will have more freedoms and you will have the trust and open communication with your child to be more comfortable allowing those freedoms!
Well written Duong!
This is a great article and an issue that I face at this exact moment. My daughter is 10, and she has a cell phone for emergencies, she walks to the bus stop, calls me and turns it off, when she is with her friends I have a way to get in touch with her.
She has been asking for a yahoo account so she can get on yahoo chat, a youtube account so she can upload videos of her and her friends club activities, and a Facebook account. Although I know these accounts can be secured and made private, it still bothers me, I really feel like she is too young, maybe if she was 13 or 14 I would feel a little better. Then I feel bad because all of her friends seem to have these accounts set up. She has her own computer that she uses for school so she is learning the technology, but I am not sure I am ready for her to enter the social networking world just yet.
my daughter is 7 and comfortable with the computer and knows how to look up information. recently she googled my name and pulled me up on a website. i encourage her use internet, but only when i am right next to her (literally). i believe i need to diligently watch over her. right now, her primary interest is just in playing online games. she understands and knows what to do to research a topic/subject, so keeping her from using is not in my plans. for now i sit next to her to ensure safety.
How right you are, Duong!
We ARE certainly living in a digital age. My three children are 8 and under and I hadn’t given much thought to them being part of this digital age until I heard my 8yo and 6yo daughters LAUGHING their heads off while using the laptop. Usually, they watch movies on it or play on AmericanGirl.com. But they were laughing SO HARD I just had to ask what they were watching. Their answer?
“We just Googled “snot rocket” and there’s a 15 year old boy on YouTube blowing the BIGGEST snot rocket out of his nose.”
SHUT THAT LAPTOP DOWN, I yelled.
From that day forward, I make sure they use the laptop in our presence OR that I check on them periodically to keep my eye on them.
As parents, we have to be the digital police and ALWAYS make sure our children are SAFE in this digital world we live in.
Thanks for the great article,
Heather
(P.S. Later that same night, my 6yo daughter told me they Googled the Easter Bunny & the Tooth Fairy. Thankfully they found NOTHING that ended their belief in them.)
To answer your question: How do you deal with your kids growing up in the digital age? What advice or suggestions would you offer parents?
I was/am very strict with my teen son’s use of social media. At one point he got his computer privileges taken away for over a month for starting a MySpace account without parental consent — and I made him wait until he turned 14 (legal age according to MySpace TOS) to get an account. The one rule was that I had to be one of his friends and if necessary, could require his password at anytime. I try to check his account on a regular basis to see what he and his friends are up to. He has to know every person in real life, and his account is private. If he can’t explain to me who someone is, I make him delete that person. So far it’s worked.
I don’t think people consider WoW (World of Warcraft) as a social network, but it certainly is becoming one for him. He’s meeting people from all over the world the same way I do with twitter. And now he understands the attractiveness and addictive quality of it (not so much a good thing). Because of the way it’s set up I have much less control over the types of people he interacts with. It used to be the same friends as on Myspace and from church, but he’s branched out.
So far I am blessed that he likes to relate anecdotes about what is going on with his raids, the characters/people he interacts with, etc. A part of me does worry about what he might be leaving out, but for now all I can do it trust him and trust that I have raised him to be somewhat discerning.
My daughter is 7 and still more interested in playing with her friends face-to-face, though she does want her own cell phone for games, the ability to call family and friends, and text now that she can read and spell (who would have thought *that!*). I introdiced her to one social network, Barbie Girls, but she didn’t like it. We haven’t tried any others, she’s not even interested in Club Penguin.
My kids are only 5 & 6 so I’m not quite there yet. But I am involved in the Social Media quite a bit and plan to keep up with the trends so hopefully when my boys get to the time they are interested I’ll be able to guide them well.
I’m not sure how I feel about young teens being on FB? I have a cousin who let’s their young daughter 12 or 13 be on it. I’m friends with her and some of the stuff she writes about is so embarrassing! I hope they are monitoring it, but most parents aren’t into social media like us bloggers and Twitter nuts. So I seriously doubt they do.
I am friends with several lawyers who say they would never get on Facebook because they have seen how it has ruined lives in the courtroom. Of course they love Facebook because it helps them win cases most of the time. If this happens to adults, I can just imagine what kids are saying and posting photos of that will get them into trouble in the future. I’ve heard of parents being sued by other parents in my area because of things their kids posted on FB and MySpace.
I’m lucky to have preschoolers right now and don’t have to worry about this yet!
When I do have teens, it will be a battle because my husband is anti-technology and only has a cell phone because I make him. LOL! He will be very against our kids doing anything that has to do with social media. So at least he can be the bad guy around here while I happily Twitter the day away…
I don’t have kids of my own, but as a professional in this exact field… let me tell you, it’s the truth! This is a tech-generation. Hands down. There’s just no way to get around it. I love everyone’s comments too, and I want to share with you just a little info on GoTrybe.com because it is so fitting to the conversation.
GoTrybe is an online health and wellness community that provides kids and teens with digital fitness videos and healthy living info in a fun, interactive way. Realizing that technology is here to stay, there’s just no sense in fighting it. If young people want to be a part of an online community, let’s just work to provide them with a positive and safe one that you can be assured is helping them and influencing them in a positive way!
I think your article is awesome, and I am a strong advocate for technology and encouraging parents to make informed choices about the media their family consumes. I think it’s possible. It just takes a little effort!
GoTrybe!
Great Post, Duong!
I don’t have kids (yet), but I had an experience recently that I think applies here…
I was at the Apple store just the other day getting my iPhone fixed, and they had a table set up with a bunch of computers on it. Parked in front of each computer was a kid under the age of 10 (the youngest was a Cindy Lou Who looking little girl who couldn’t have been more than 3!). Every one of them was completely comfortable working on those computers. It was second nature to all of them.
Like it or not folks, this is the future. If we want our children to have any chance at success, then they are going to have to be able to navigate their way through the technological word.
Just like we teach our kids to drive a car, it will be up to us as adults to guide our children as they embark on their journey into the new digital world, showing them how to use it responsibly and safely.
Hi – Your tweet about this post caught my eye as I was just writing about this subject. Here’s a quick article that gives parents some tips on how to monitor and talk to their kids about Facebook and other online social networks. And, I wholeheartedly agree that parents need to learn about social networks themselves, otherwise it’s like handing the kids the keys to the car without any “parental guidance.”
http://womensdish.typepad.com/the_womens_dish/2009/05/facebook-for-parents-what-you-dont-know-can-hurt-your-kids.html#more
Hope this helps.
Diane K. Danielson
ceo, http://www.DowntownWomensClub.com
Diane, Thank you for your contribution. I know this is controversal topic for some parents…should we allow, shouldn’t we allow? I love your analogy: “parents need to learn about social networks themselves, otherwise it’s like handing the kids the keys to the car without any “parental guidance.” ~Duong
Very interesting thoughts Duong. As a Gen Y myself, growing up in the digital age is something that I’ve thought a lot about. In terms of the implications to our behaviors, attitudes, and lifestyle, it certainly has an effect. I recently wrote an article about what my generation is like on my blog… http://sarahmerion.com/socialmedia/gen-y-talks-the-talk-but-they-dont-walk-the-walk. You might find some insight in it. Hope you are doing well, my little SOBCon friend
Sarah, Great post! I commented on it too! You are such a wise young woman! Hugs
My kids are young yet, but I do think about this. I have seen plenty of 10-year-olds with their own cell phones, which I don’t think is a good idea. I do think restricting their access to technology is perfectly appropriate, at least up until the teen years. They are using computers and the internet in school, so they are learning it regardless of what they have access to at home. I also agree that parents should understand and use the technology their kids are using. In addition to explaining the dangers, we need to set a good example by not staring at a screen constantly, and letting our kids see us engage with real life.
Duong,
Great post. I have struggled with this myself. I had such a hard time allowing my daughter to create a MySpace and such. I guess it comes down to trust and building that rapport with your child. I have come to the decision although I know there are bad things on the internet I hope she listens and follows my rules that are set in place. We have a computer in each room of the house it seems and we all have mobile phones. Gosh we don’t even use a house phone. LOL There is bad in the world no matter how much you try to keep your children away from it, they can find it. Parental controls and history on your computer is a great help! I say let them learn the new ‘era’.
Dwan, as you pointed out, you have a computer in each room…it’s becoming as common as having a television in each room. Alot of kids own their own laptop these days, we certainly can’t avoid this era! Thanks for your input!
Great verse! I don’t think keeping them away from the internet and social networks is the answer. That will be they way they do business when they are older, why would we want to rob them of that knowledge? My kids are too young for all of that now, but I believe monitoring and parental controls will be a big help.
Duong,
LOVED your article! Times have certainly changed, and FAST – Great info, & advice for parents. I will forward your article to all of my friends & associates that have kids!
~Donna