As a wife, parent, friend, and sibling I’ve learned to say I’m sorry a few times in my life…ok A LOT.
I’ll admit that I’ve been a very stubborn individual and it’s taken me years to deal with it. I learned a long time ago that resentment and unforgiveness doesn’t hurt anyone else other than self.
My journey to be whole in spirit, soul, and body required me to let go of stubbornness and deal with unresolved conflicts right away. It’s not always easy but it sets us free.
I love this quote:
“A few things are more powerful than common sense, wisdom & the strength to admit when you’ve made a mistake and to set things right”. Dr. Spencer Johnson, MD
Whether we have mistreated others or have been wronged by others, it is human nature to cry out for compensation or some sort of repayment. All human relationships will at some point require an apology regardless of the nature of the relationship in which we find ourselves. That could be a marriage, a working relationship, siblings, a dating relationship, or with friendships. And we’re face to choose at some point to apologize if we’ve wronged others, or accept forgiveness if we’ve been wronged.
A genuine apology makes resolution possible. Without an apology, we will harbor anger and resentment. And often times, unresolved conflict lingers on for years. When we apologize, we are accepting responsibility for our actions and seeking to make amends with those who have offended us.
A genuine apology will open the door to forgiveness and reconciliation. This is what the power of an apology will do – it breaks down those walls that have been holding us back from having peaceful and fulfilling relationships with one another.
When we refuse to apologize, we build a barrier in the relationship with those who have offended us and that barrier will remain up and most likely the relationship will deteriorate.
It will become cold, superficial, and distant. If you’ve experienced that, you know exactly what I mean. Great relationships are a result of a willingness to apologize, to forgive, and to make peace.
After some extensive research on the subject of apology, Dr. Gary Chapman shares in his newest book, The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships
“When it comes to apologizing, people indeed speak a different language…sincere apologies may not always be received as sincere, and why forgiveness and reconciliation are not always forthcoming.”
As a parent, I’ve had to be humble and apologize when I’m wrong; you’d think it’s easy to do and if you’re a parent, you will understand. There are times when we don’t feel that we need to apologize for a situation. The spirit of stubbornness wants to rule our decisions; however, being quick to apologize and resolve conflicts with our children will open their hearts and enrich our relationship.
The power of apology will restore broken relationships and produce great, meaningful life-long friendships, marriages, and parent-child relationships. It will also impact day to day interactions with people outside of our circle.
Genuine apologies will soften even the toughest and those with the most hardened hearts.
Is there someone you need to apologize to today? Go for it!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post! I would say that the power of accepting an apology is equally as important as the power of the apology itself. While the apology itself is incredibly powerful for both parties, what happens once the apology is made is, for me, the most powerful moment – it’s the moment in which there is either healing or an ending. Having the grace and confidence to accept an apology and figure out what happens next is an incredible skill.
This is a great topic. A researcher at Stanford, Frederic Ruskin, did some really impressive research on the power of forgiveness, and how it can change us for the better to forgive those who’ve harmed us.