My father stands about five feet tall. He may be small in stature but a dynamite at heart.

My sons get a kick out of how they’ve grown passed their Ong Goi (grandpa in Vietnamese).

Kien Duong is my father’s name. He has had an interesting and  tough life. Tough yet determined and one filled with purpose.

I love hearing stories from  my father and after this most recent health scare, I’ve been sensing an urgency to record and journal all that I have come to know and learn about him and our family.

My father has been ill for a very long time but his illness has taken a tole on his health in recent years. His mind is as sharp as can be but his body hasn’t been able to keep up.

He has had some miraculous interventions through his life, beginning when he left his home at a very young age to fend for himself.

Even in recent weeks, we didn’t know if he would pull through and miraculously the LORD answered our prayers and the many who have been praying for him.

My kids with Ong Goi (grandpa)

My dad has never talked much about his father. As a matter of fact, I don’t even know my grandfather’s name. I asked him once about his father and all he said was that he had died before he could know him.

I want to make sure my children know what an amazing Ong Goi  they have and the legacy that he will leave behind some day.

My dad taught me so many things about life and I’m so grateful for the principles that he imparted growing up.

What my dad taught me about life:

Sacrifice:

We watched my father sacrifice his life giving to others. He was so grateful to have his family in America (Beloit Daily News article) and wanted other Vietnamese refugees to have the same opportunity.

Servanthood:

On April of 1981, my father received the “Volunteer of the Year” award, sponsored by The Beloit Daily News. My father was honored for his service to the new Vietnamese families in our hometown.

After working forty hours a week at his factory job, my father spent hours during the week helping new Vietnamese families who came to America to acclimate to their new surroundings.

My dad was on call all hours of the day; whether he was taking a sick family member to the hospital, or a taking a call from an employer of the new refugee to translate a work procedure, our phone was ringing regularly and my father was always ready to go where he was needed.

Domestic:

If my father’s daily schedule wasn’t hectic enough, he was also the cook in our family. Dinner was always prepared for us before he went to work the second shift. My mother cooked, but this was something my dad loved to do.

His famous egg rolls and beef-ka-bobs are recipes that have been hidden from my siblings and me because he always said that it kept us coming home. Oh, we won’t get into how immaculate the house and our bedrooms needed to be.

Work Hard But Enjoy Life:

My dad worked diligently to provide the best he could for my siblings and me. He was such a penny pincher but those pennies got us all over the country, visiting many states when we were kids.

We had a large bucket that my parents would throw their change into and the end of each school year, we’d all pile into the family station wagon for a road trip to another part of the country. My dad wanted us to see America.

At my little sister's wedding 2001

My dad has had some serious health scares recently and it’d a miracle he is with us today.

I saw him fight for his life with every breath and every bit of energy he could muster up these past several weeks. There is nothing more heart wrenching than to watch your loved one suffer.

We are so grateful for the prayers of family and friends. Everyday we have with our dad is a gift.

It’s going to be another Happy Father’s Day!

{This post has been adapted & revised from 2010}

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Every now and then I get a search that lands on my blog from various parts of the world for “How to Live Healthier and Happier.”

The theme of my blog is focused on lifestyle choices from the inside-out, practical solutions to everyday life, ranging from health and fitness, recipes, inspiration, to emotional and spiritual empowerment.

My journey to find health and happiness began over twenty years ago in 1990, after being in a near fatal head-on collision that landed me in the hospital for seven days due to a severed intestine.

I have a permanent scar that is twelve inches from the emergency exploratory surgery to remind me of how grateful I am to be alive today.

I’ve yet to share my entire story in detail but one day I will  when the time is right.

I was a passenger in another car accident just a couple of years earlier that went off the road in the North Carolina mountains, but it was this car accident when I was the driver that truly changed my life.

It was what catapulted me into a journey to live healthier and happier, not knowing that one day I would have a blog with a mission to empower others to do the same.

That car accident was the lowest point in my life, yet I remember the morning I woke up in the Intensive Care Unit, coherent and for the first time I began to think about my life….

Perhaps there was a reason why I didn’t just die that night.

After being transferred into a regular hospital room, I was drugged up on Demerol, which numbed my pain physically and emotionally as all I did was sleep.

I can see how one can become addicted. I didn’t want to face what had just happened and being zoned out in the hospital bed allowed me to ignore my situation, temporarily that is.

But one morning after the drugs started to wear off, I was more conscious and sleeping less. I remember sitting up in that dark, cold hospital room thinking about my life, my future.

It was the first time since being in the hospital that I was able to face my current reality and how I ended up in ICU with a catheter to my heart and an NG tube (Nasogastric) in my nose and down to my stomach.

I looked at my face in the mirror, my eyes were swollen, my face in different spots was bruised from either trauma or hitting the steering wheel, and about seventy stitches keeping my abdomen closed.

Wow, I was a mess.

It was at that moment when the GOD that I had felt so distant from my whole life was suddenly close by my side.

I felt a peace and a presence that filled my  room like I’ve never felt before. I knew that my life was going to be transformed. I didn’t know how, what or when.

But whatever I felt that day, I just didn’t want it to go away.

I was told by my doctor that I would have a long recovery ahead; six months before I would heal internally.

I had to deal with emotional and physical pain; however, I for the first time felt hopeful, even in the midst of my situation.

HOPE.

It was all I had at that moment and all I needed to start turning my life around.

The young girl, who on the outside appeared to many as happy, spunky, and the life of the party was really on the inside feeling a sense of hopelessness.

While a peace and tranquility hovered over me in the hospital room that day, I recall telling myself that I would embark on a new beginning as soon as I was discharged from the hospital. I had no idea what that meant.

Everything happens for a reason and although I didn’t understand all the details at the time, God had touched my life in a supernatural way and I made a decision to renew my attitude and my way of thinking.

Nobody wakes up one morning and everything is hunky dory. No, it’s a journey, a choice we make day by day and sometimes minute by minute.

My situation after that car accident was quite depressing, actually.

My car was totaled. It was my first brand new car and barely a year old. I could only afford liability insurance; hence I had to pay on the car note for three years after.

I couldn’t work due to my injuries and had to move back home to live with my parents.

There was every reason for me to stay hopeless, but I chose in the midst of that mess to change my attitude.

Having a positive attitude has everything to do with our healing and recovery as researchers pointed out recently. Despite the doctor’s report, I recovered quickly and was on my feet in seven to ten days.

There is a principle from the Bible that says, “as a man thinks within himself, so he becomes.“

Viktor Frankl, a world renowned holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning (1946) shares,  finding a reason to live and that the “meaning of life is found in every moment of living; life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death.”

Happiness is a gift that we’ve been given, yet not everyone experiences it in their day to day life.

Now, with that said, I’m not discrediting situations where people have serious deep clinical depressions but in my situation and many others, we have the ability to choose to be happy but we simply would rather wallow in our sorrow instead.

In the past ten years, I’ve read more books about health and happiness than I have ever to date. Research is being done specifically on happiness.

There is even a  Journal of Happiness Studies documenting scientific findings on health and happiness.

Science has discovered that humans are programmed to be happy but often are not experiencing it.

Happiness also doesn’t come from our circumstances and as I’ve shared a few paragraphs earlier, I had no reason to be happy.

As a matter of fact, research on happiness shows that only 10% of our happiness comes from our circumstances (getting a new house, new career, vacations, etc). But this only is temporary.

Most of our happiness is based on those things that we have control over, such as our thoughts and deliberate choices and what we focus on (Your Focus Becomes Your Reality).

As Mr. Viktor Frankl also shares, “The last of human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

It was during this time in my life, under the worst circumstance that I made a choice to live happier and in turn healthier in spirit, soul, and body.

I live everyday with gratitude and thanking God for an opportunity to empower others to “live healthier and happier.”

The journey continues…

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I read a study recently that the average preschooler hears about 400 negative comments per day, compared to 10 positive ones.

Today, kids are exposed to so much more than when I was a kid; with access to social networks, texting, sometimes resulting in cyber bullying.

We’ve heard over the last couple of years how negative comments towards another person can have some deadly consequences.

Do you remember the old playground rhyme?

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I remember being called some really mean names at school or on the playground and although I may have even been one to belt out this old rhyme, deep down, the name calling and comments were hurtful.

Whether negative words were spoken towards us on the playground or by family members at home, words are powerful.

Negative WORDS can leave wounds in the soul if we don’t deal with it.

As an adult it took years to deprogram from a lot of negativity. Some came from others and some came from my own self-defeating words.

When I realized that words had the power to direct the course of my life, it was a revelation and I learned quickly that it was time to turn this ship around.

As a matter fact, this proverb says,

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”
~Proverbs 18:21

Now, none of us would even think of eating poison or giving it to our kids but the truth is when we speak negative words over them or over our own situation, we are eating poison.

The beauty is, we have the power to choose between words that kill or words that give  life.

Our words are either poison or fruit.

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I saw this trailer promoting the documentary that is now released, “Lord, Save Us From Your Followers”.  I’ve been a Christian for over twenty years and it saddens me when people I’ve met and talk to feel negative towards Christians in general.

I will be honest, there’s been times during my Christian walk when I’ve wanted to cry out, Lord save me from my fellow Christians.” We’ve all been mistreated or have mistreated others but the truth is, there are many genuine loving Christians who sacrifice their life everyday to make a difference in the  lives of others.

It’s unfortunate that Christians have been generalized in a negative way when a certain situation is exposed. The common reason among those I’ve interacted with who don’t want anything to do with Christianity is because we Christians are judgmental, rude, or not as Christ-like as we claim to be.

It doesn’t matter what our religious or non-religious declaration is, as long as we are human, we will make mistakes at some point in our life. We may say horrible things that we do not mean, behave in a way that is out of character; or for some, commit acts that are just unfathomable. Ok, call it Sin. We’ve all sinned and have fallen short the glory of God. I don’t say this to make excuses for myself or anyone else.

I want nothing more than to be an example and to represent Jesus. As Christians, I understand that  we are on a journey not only to have a  personal relationship with Jesus but to help others come to know this amazing GOD that we serve, to advance the Kingdom of God and to make an impact in this world.

However, when some of us criticize those who are different, belittle those who disagree with our views, get into political or religious debates;  more like arguments and divisiveness, over spiritualize things and we wonder why people cry out, “Lord save us from your followers”? Or we wonder why people run the opposite direction when they see some us Christians coming?

I’ve heard this quoted many times:

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” ~Gandhi

As Christian aren’t we suppose to be the “light” of the world. If we were in a dark tunnel and we see a light, wouldn’t we gravitate towards the light?  But when people run away from “us” the “light” maybe it’s time that we re-examine ourselves. Maybe we aren’t being as Christ-like as we ought. I know I’ve had to ask for forgiveness on several occasions when I wasn’t Christ-like in a situation. None of us are perfect.

The greatest gift we can give others, to our family and our friends is LOVE.  For God so LOVED that he gave…” (John 3:16)

It’s not our job to judge others no matter what it is; whether we feel it’s right or wrong. We may not agree with people’s choices but we are not their moral police.

I believe that if we truly want to represent Jesus and be Christ-like and advance the kingdom of GOD, we must demonstrate the GOD kind of love from 1 Corinthians 13:1-10.

I know we see this in wedding invitations and it’s read at weddings but it’s not meant for weddings only (Smile).

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. ~MSV

I’m going to re-examine my own life and ask myself, “Am I walking in the GOD kind of love? The love that’s described above?”

I know that I’ve fallen short but I hope that can be the Christian that people would want to run to and not run from.

The truth is our character is not determined by what we say of ourselves. It’s what other say about us after they’ve left our presence. What aroma do we leave behind? Is it one that is sweet or bitter. I hope it’s not the latter.

Please take a few minutes to check out this trailer: The documentary is out and I hope to watch it soon.

Lord Save Us From Your Followers

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Some of us maybe living with unhealthy relatives, you know…the ones that are toxic,  always causing drama and zapping our energy…keeping us from enjoying life and peace?

As much as we love our relatives, there are times when we have to declare, “ENOUGH”  and remove ourselves from them physically for our own well-being.

Dealing with certain family members can be draining but there are other relatives that can be just as crippling to our health and vitality, preventing us from experiencing an abundant life.

These unhealthy relatives are known as fear and worry; these sisters attempt to control our spirit and mind, often leaving us feeling powerless.

They are like twins…they often show up together. Sometimes our decisions in life are based on these unhealthy relatives.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to entertain these sisters any longer. I’ve had to overcome a few fears and worries in  my life but I’ll share one example:

I had been gripped with fear of the ocean. Anytime I thought about a trip that involved flying over the ocean, I immediately felt knots forming in my stomach.

I believe the root of this  fear was a result of being a boat person and the traumatic experience I went through while my family and I escaped from Vietnam after the Fall of Saigon.

While attempting to cross the Pacific Ocean, I witnessed lives lost at sea, both young and old. I can remember hearing family members weeping over their loved ones as they were buried in the ocean (described with dignity).

That’s quite traumatic for anyone to go through, let alone a young child having to witness it. I’m thankful that my siblings were too young to remember any of these events.

After arriving in the United States, somehow I managed to block those memories for years. Perhaps because kids didn’t ask me to share my “escape” story. When I was thirteen, I had to fly over the ocean to Paris as an exchange student but I don’t recall having this fear then.

However, telling my story to people who asked over and over as I got older brought back memories and images from that journey and I believe it was then that I developed this fear of the ocean.

I’ve taken ferry rides along the skylines of Manhattan and Chicago. I love ocean views and walks along the beach, as long as I can see land. It’s the thought of going over the ocean made me fearful and worried about the worst that could happen.

Friends that I’ve shared this with suggested perhaps I developed PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) at some point. After some research on the internet, the symptoms seemed to be accurate.

I’m not a psychologist and can’t explain why as a teen I could fly over the ocean to France but terrified at the thought when I was in my 20s and 30s.

This fear became real as we were planning to spend our 10th anniversary in Hawaii; a place that I dreamed of going one day and now fear and worry was taking hold of my soul.

Being that we planned this trip almost two years in advanced, it allowed me time to tackle this giant. I was determined.

This fear would’ve prevented me from enjoying a very special time with my husband.

I began to mediate on all the verses that I could find on overcoming fear or worry. Whenever a fear or worry came to my mind, I replaced it with verses that would bring peace, for example:

“you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds…”

Maui ~ 10 Year Anniversary

There’s also a good reason why we’re reminded often in scripture to: “Fear Not” and “Let not your hearts be troubled.” God knew we would be dealing this these things in life.

We made it to Hawaii for our 10th anniversary and had the time of our  lives. We’ve been back recently for our 18th anniversary.

We flew on a small plane from one island to another and all I saw was BLUE through the windows on both sides.

Again, I refused to let these unhealthy relatives grip my mind even though the 30 minute flight seemed like eternity.

I can see how crippling fear and worry can be, keep us from enjoying life to the fullest.

As the saying goes, “Fear will knock at our door, but we can choose whether or not to let it in.”

I’m choosing to “Fear Not.”

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There is always something magical that takes place during the transition from New Year’s Eve to New Year’s Day. It’s when the clock strikes at midnight and we’ve chosen to leave the past behind and embark on a fresh new beginning.

It’s in those two days where I’ve witnessed so many positive wishes from friends and those I interact with online. The energy is electrifying.

Each year we get pumped up that this is going to be the best year ever and then when it doesn’t go as we’ve imagined, sometime we can become disillusioned and give up on the little hope that we had…or perhaps a dream, a goal or even give up on believing in our self.

One of the things that we lose sometimes is our passion for things that we once had and dreamed of. We may question our purpose or wonder when we’re going to experience God’s promises for our lives.

“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new…” Isaiah 43:18-19,(MSG)

When things look hopeless, God will give us hope. When a door shuts, He will open a new door that no man can close!

Passion

God has placed a special desire or passion on the inside of each us. Sometimes we get so discouraged with issues in our life and lose our passion. We’ve all been discouraged. Sometime it comes from self doubt and sometimes it comes from those we surround ourselves with.

I’ve learned that we MUST align ourselves with the right people in order to get to the next level in our lives. There will always those who will discredit us, criticize us for following our passion, and sadly, its often those we are the closest to: a relative, a close friend or even a spiritual counselor.

Purpose

During one of my coaching sessions with Life Coach, Karin Syren a few years back, she clarified the meaning of “purpose”:

“Purpose is why you were created and mission is what you are meant to do about it. Identifying what your purpose is will help you determine what you are meant to do about it.”

It was an ah-ha moment! We’ve all be destined for a purpose while on this earth and it’s up to us to find out what that purpose is and then do something about it.

Each experience and lesson that we learn along the way may lead us to discover new things about ourselves,  perhaps things that we like or dislike. We may discover gifts and talents that we didn’t even know we had. That’s the beauty of this journey we call LIFE.

I believe that every phase or season of our lives has a purpose. Whether we’re a stay at home mom, in the work force, volunteering in a third world country, serving in our church or community. It’s the journey we’re on and what we’re doing along the way that we are passionate about, is our purpose for that moment.

A a heart surgeon, certainly doesn’t wake up being a surgeon one day. There are a series of phases a surgeon goes through before he operates on a patient. Each step guided him towards that purpose. I would not want a surgeon operating on me if he hadn’t gone through all the protocols.

As moms, we don’t wake up one day with a newborn. We go through nine months of preparation, physically and emotionally. Lord knows some of us could use a little more prepping…it’s a tough role but a very rewarding one.

Promises

Every time I see a rainbow in the sky, it’s a reminder of God’s covenant promises. I base my life on faith and the promises of God’s word. Walking by faith when things don’t look so good is very trying. But when I see God answering my prayers, especially in the midnight hour, I know that it’s not by my might or my power that has brought wonderful things into my life.

All the glory goes to HIM. Because of that, I continue to BELIEVE.

I’ve learned to trust in God’s promises. If you are a parent who makes a promise to your children, because you love them… you will fulfill that promise. How much more will God keep His promises for His children?  Only BELIEVE.

May we all discover our true passion, purpose and believe for His promises to be fulfilled in our lives.

Live Healthier & Happier~ Happy New Year!!

*This post has been updated & edited from the original post in 2008.

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A Brilliant Digital Story of the Nativity using all of the latest and greatest technology and gadgets.

One of the many reasons I love the Digital era.

Thanks to Cheryl Smith for sharing on Posterous.

by ExcentricPT

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I vowed to never hike again after an adventurous and painful four days hiking in the rugged trails of The Smoky Mountains in Tennessee and lathered in Ben Gay (ointment for muscle pain) for another four days following.

Being a poor college student, my options for Spring break were limited and for $50 bucks I decided to rough it in the great outdoors with my then boyfriend and his roommate who was an “outdoors man” naturally. {photo on left: Smoky Mountains, 1989)

He promised the Smokey Mountains would be an unforgettable adventure—and that he delivered! We crossed a rapid, fetched water from a spring, pitched a tent nightly, built bonfires to keep warm in nearly below freezing temperatures, and hung our belongings up in a tree to keep bears away.

Oh, I won’t mention bathroom breaks (imagine a shovel and lots of leaves). How I got talked into that excursion…I don’t know; that was over twenty years ago.

Never say never. I broke my vow to never hike again during my stay at Rancho La Puerta Fitness Resort & Spa on 3000 acres of luscious foliage at the base of Mount Kuchamaa– “the exalted high place.” How befitting is it’s meaning.

Of course, there’s a stark difference this hike; I’m not pitching a tent and fetching water at the end of the day!

I set out to take sunrise hikes with some fellow guests also staying at Rancho La Puerta. However, not having proper footwear, I opted for some milder hikes such as the“Alex Oak Trail,” which was still a little challenge but manageable with gym shoes. Next time I’ll be more prepared with hiking gear for a bigger challenge like the Coyote Hike-5.5 miles in a more a rugged trail.

The morning hikes were serene and tranquil with incredible views from Mount Kuchumaa; and looking ahead into the distance at the midst that graced the valley below was incredibly calming.

I sought for inspiration that comes from moments like this and purposely chose to meditate on one thing during each hike. Sometimes, nothing but the sounds of wild creatures  rustling in the leaves and other times a word so vividly painted in my mind such as on the Alex Oak Trail hike.

“Strength” came to me throughout the hike. As I  thought of the mountains and how it related to strength, I realized one thing:  the mountains have endured from all of the erosion or eruptions of the past giving it’s new shape, beauty, and stability for all future guest travelers including myself…to enjoy it’s natural beauty.

It’s magical how something that’s considered a remnant from an erosion can become a site that takes your breath away.

We could learn so much  from going to the mountain.

Enjoy some spectacular views…

Disclosure: As a guest of Rancho La Puerta, I’ve been empowered to continue my journey to live healthier and happier.

*Thanks to Soma for providing the comfortable Active wear for my trip to Rancho La Puerta as seen in photo above.

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